Life often throws us a curveball, something painful, unexpected, frightening or even devastating. We all have coping strategies and sometimes they can be unhealthy ones. What happens when they don't work, or they become too destructive or unmanageable? We can feel pain, fear, anxiety or depression and if we 'carry on regardless' we can feel worse and our mental health suffers. So, often we increase our coping strategies, we hurt ourselves or others and we feel life is out of control. If we still ignore our needs, we head towards dangerous territory and we find ourselves in crisis. For men there is the additional belief of being strong and coping no matter what. When you cannot keep this up because its too painful you end up in shame and that leads to self hate, anger and fear.
I'm Elaine. I work with men as a fellow traveller, not an expert standing over you, but someone walking alongside you as you work out what's really going on.
I won't force anything. A lot of the men I work with come in focused on one thing: alcohol, stress, a relationship that's falling apart. Gradually, as trust builds, we get to what's underneath. You set the pace, and we only go where you're ready to go.
My sessions are warm and honest, and yes, there's laughter in there too. I use creativity, music, colour, literature, and imagery to help open up the things that are hard to put into words. I'm not a blank screen: if something you share affects me and it feels right to say so, I will, and that gives you permission to do the same.
There's no judgement here. About what you've done, how you've felt, or how long it took you to pick up the phone. Your story is told by you, for you.
I work with men dealing with trauma, anxiety, depression, and neurodivergence, as well as the kind of stress or low-level misery that doesn't have a neat label but still makes life harder than it should.
I offer a free initial consultation to see if we're a good fit. If picking up the phone feels awkward, drop me a text first and we'll go from there. I also offer Saturday sessions if you're tied up during the week.
When you're ready, I'm here.
I am a UKCP registered Psychotherapeutic Counsellor, with an advanced diploma in Relational counselling. I have additional qualifications in CBT, Intuitive eating and working with children and adolescents. I am an NLP Practitioner and a member of the Scarborough Psycho-therapeutic Training Institute.
I started my counselling career with Childline and spent over 10 years as a Counsellor and Supervisor with them. I have worked for SHE.UK, providing therapy for survivors of sexual abuse both male and female. I have provided Mental Health and Safeguarding support for young people at a local FE college and provided mental health support for players and apprentices at a local EFL football club.
I have ten years experience as a private counsellor working successfully with men with a variety of issues .
I work with male survivors of trauma, no matter what that trauma may be – sexual , physical or emotional abuse, childhood issues, military service, domestic violence,(against men) controlling relationships or witnessing trauma. So, this means I work with the symptoms of being a survivor – disassociation in men, personality disorders like emotionally unstable PD (borderline) and narcissism with male survivors, flashbacks, self-harm, suicidal ideation, PTSD and CPTSD in men .
Male anxiety and depression have become common in our culture today and I work with all forms of either issue (male seasonal affective disorder, generalised anxiety disorder in men, stress, male panic disorder) using a combination of identifying triggers, developing coping skills and looking at the root cause.
I have lived experience of late diagnosis ADHD and how living with this has impacted myself and my clients. I work using a variety of methods including CBT and ACT to find ways to work with the male ADHD brain, that may impact how men are used to having to fit in to our worlds. So, looking at masking for men and how it creates so much shame and anxiety, in case men get caught out not being 'normal' or 'strong'....and of course we embrace the differences that male ADHD can make and not hiding away from men getting their needs met.
I have personal experience of eating disorders and have supported several men through the whole bariatric surgery process. So, this means I am able to offer a knowledgeable and experienced service to any man at any age who has issues with food, no matter what those issues are. Male Anorexia, Bulimia, binge eating and Orthorexia are not spoken about but men with eating disorders are more common than ever. I use a Health at Every Size (HAES) methodology and Intuitive Eating where men learn not to treat food as the enemy and access the causes of male eating disorders. I have a large body and I know that can be a trigger for some people so please be aware of that.
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