Not sure if therapy is right for you? Learn what counselling can offer, signs you might benefit, and how to explore support designed specifically for men.
Is It Time to Talk? A Guide for Men Wondering About Therapy
"Is what I'm going through serious enough to talk to someone?"
It's a question many men ask quietly. We're often taught to tough it out, keep things in perspective, and not make a fuss. But this thinking can prevent us from getting support that genuinely helps. In this article, we will explore some of the barriers, current statistics, and changing landscape. Before moving onto if therapy is 'right' for you, how therapy can help men, when to start therapy, and where men can find professional support in the UK.
Why Men Sometimes Put Off Talking
There’s a common idea that unless things are “really bad,” it’s not worth speaking to someone. But research shows that many men delay seeking support not because they don’t need it — but because of the very real barriers they face.
A 2025 systematic review of mental health help-seeking among young men identified five major reasons men hold back [1]:
Stigma: Fears of being judged, appearing weak, or being seen differently by others.
Difficulty identifying or expressing emotions: Many men struggle to name or articulate what they’re feeling.
Preference for self-reliance: The belief that you should be able to “handle it yourself.”
Lack of mental health literacy: Not knowing what therapy involves, or how to get started.
Structural barriers: Limited access, cost concerns, or lack of services that feel relatable.
These aren’t signs of failure. They’re common experiences shaped by culture, expectations, and access. But understanding them is the first step toward challenging them.
The Silent Epidemic? Men's Mental Health in the UK
When emotional struggles go unspoken, they could show up elsewhere — in habits, behaviours, and relationships. Men are nearly three times as likely as women to become dependent on alcohol, and three times more likely to report frequent drug use [2]. In 2023, men accounted for over two-thirds (68%) of adults in substance misuse treatment in England [3]. Suicide remains the most devastating outcome. According to the Office for National Statistics [4], the suicide rate among men in England and Wales rose to 17.4 deaths per 100,000 — the highest since 1999. Men aged 45–49 are most at risk, with a rate of 25.5 deaths per 100,000. And men account for 75% of all suicides in the UK.
But the story doesn’t end there.
Signs of Change - Are Men's Attitudes Beginning to Change?
More men are beginning to talk — and it might be suggested the picture is shifting.
In 2022, the BACP sample 5000 adults in the UK and reported that 27% of men sampled had experienced counselling [5]. In 2024, from a new sample, 72% of men said they found counselling helpful [6]. And 79% of men agreed it’s becoming more socially acceptable to talk about mental health [6].
There’s still work to do — but these numbers reflect a real shift in how men are thinking about therapy. How about you? Have you ever asked yourself the question, is counselling for me?
Should You Start Counselling?
It can be hard to know if you should go to therapy. There's no specific set of 'symptoms' or 'circumstances' that mean you are ready for therapy. For me it was more of a feeling, looking back the following questions would have been helpful for me to recognise I could find value in therapy - and I wouldn't have put it off for so long.
Am I low on energy or motivation?
Do I feel distant from my friends or partner?
Am I stuck in bad habits?
Do I get irritated or angry easily?
Am I anxious a lot of the time?
Do I know what I want from life?
If you’ve ever asked yourself questions like these — therapy could help. None of these issues have to be extreme to matter. If it’s affecting your day-to-day or how you feel about yourself, that’s reason enough. Seeking support is a sign of strength.
How Talking Can Help?
Some men come to therapy with a specific problem. Others are just tired of carrying everything alone.
Therapy can help you:
Understand what's happening
Know yourself better
Think about what's important to you
Learn ways to manage stress, anxiety, or uncertainty
Learn healthy ways to manage anger
Find emotional support
Therapy comes in different forms — and we'll explore that more in a follow-up article. The good news is, there's a wide spectrum of options, and many ways to access support. You don’t need to have all the answers. Just showing up is enough. You're not alone — at Men’s Counselling Service, there are many ways to find support that works for you.
When to Start Talking
If you're even wondering if therapy might help, it's worth checking out. Many men wish they'd started sooner (me included). You don't have to wait for things to get worse before getting help. And when you do, you might find it is not as unfamiliar, awkward, or overwhelming as you expected.
Finding the Right Support
It could be worth booking a free introductory call to see if this is something that could help you. You can look at therapist profiles on Men's Counselling Service, filter by what's important to you, and see who offers a free first session. No pressure. Just the option to take the next step.
In Conclusion
Therapy can be a powerful tool for men — and that’s why I’ve dedicated my work to making it more accessible.
Connect with Counsellor who wrote this article by clicking the button below: Ben Jefferson MBACP
